The theory seems to be apparent

By Noel R. Wolfe

, Mar 11, 2010

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The high priest for the Global Green Church-Reformed, Al Gore, had a really bad week when Sir Donald Trump called on the Nobel committee to excommunicate the reverend.

In an interview, Sir Donald implied that “Man-made global warming” (now known only as climate change) was nothing but a stunt perpetrated on the world for political purposes (read – Al Gore’s enrichment). Sir Donald continued by suggesting that the Nobel committee strip Gore of his recent prize. Al was vacationing at Mardi Gras in Rio and was not immediately available for comment.

In other news, the recently discredited professor of the East Anglia School confessed that his climate data was destroyed because he was embarrassed by the non-scientific method by which he kept his research. Continuing, the professor acknowledged that his research has been taken out of context and that there is no current proof that the world is indeed warming. In fact, the professor now asserts that one cannot even determine if today’s global temperatures are warmer than they were in the 1400s (pre-industrial revolution) when Greenland was, in fact, a green land. Readers are reminded that the professor’s research was used by the United Nations in its effort to prove this extraordinary theory in the continued attempt to extort money from the industrialized countries of the world. UN representatives have no comment on these latest developments, but it is thought that a high-level resignation is in the offing.

Speaking from the White House, President Obama is not going to take this revelation lying down, noting even Osama Bin Laden has surfaced lately to condemn the “Great Satan” for causing so many to suffer because of global warming.

Thus, the president recommends putting together a U.S. “blue ribbon panel” whereas the postulated theory is assumed to be correct and panel members will set out to “again” prove the theory. Heading the research will be the very top paid civil servants at NOAA and the panel will be crammed with the president’s cronies. Quoting a reliable source, the president should just confirm his “global warming” agenda by political fiat and direct the EPA to start taxing U.S. industries now because we already know the theory is for real – don’t we?

Noel R Wolfe is a resident of Lake Oswego.